The Enneagram is made up of nine points on a circle, each represented by a number from one to nine. The numbers are used to keep things neutral, and a larger digit doesn’t mean a more superior personality type.

The nine points represent the nine basic personality types of course, and each type is connected to two others through the interconnecting lines. To have a better idea of how the Enneagram looks like, simply visit SuccessWithCommunication.com.

The lines show very clearly, the points a person will head towards when feeling good or under stress. In most cases, there will be arrows on the lines indicating the direction towards the integration or growth points, which means the particular personality type we would move towards when we are feeling good or empowered.

Moving in the opposite direction would indicate the particular personality type we would move towards when under stress. This is known as our disintegration or stress points. Moving towards these points doesn’t mean that we will adopt a new personality altogether, it simply means that we will exhibit certain characteristics of that particular personality type. When feeling good, we will show some healthy qualities of our growth point. Conversely, we will also show negative traits of our stress points when under stress.

Then there are also the wings. The wings refer to the two numbers beside each personality type. We will exhibit characteristics of one, or both wings. Though researches have shown that majority of us will have only one dominant wing, it is hard to r

The nine personality types are also divided into different triads based on Instinct, Feeling and Thinking driven personalities. What this means is personality types eight, nine, and one are more instinct driven. They use a lot of their instincts, or referential experience in their behaviour. This group also have an issue with aggression, or anger.

Personality types two, three and four are feeling based people. They use a lot of their feelings, and this group have an issue with shame, or the way people look at them. Personality types five, six and seven are the thinking group. So unlike the feeling group, they are more thinking based, and have an issue with fear.

Though there are a few schools of thoughts with the Enneagram, the fundamentals remain constant throughout. In order to use the Enneagram successfully in improving your interpersonal communication skills, it is important to know the basics. This will ensure that the teachings from various sources can serve as add-ons, rather than distractions.

Joel Seah

Author Bio

The Author is a Life Coach and practitioner of NLP who specialises in Interpersonal Communication Skills.To download your Free Report on the Top Eight Communication Mistakes and find out more about techniques to improve your interpersonal communication skills, simply visit http://www.SuccessWithCommunication.com

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us. Ralph Waldo Emerson.

The seven personality types are within each and everyone of us. We have a dominant persona – our facade that we show to the world – and most of us activate at least one or two others frequently.

Have you noticed how some people seem so much more complicated than others? The complicated person can switch roles more rapidly than outfits, while it takes a major change in the life of a less complicated friend, before the latter will allow another persona to emerge from within. We draw on the strengths – and weaknesses – at different stages of our lives. Each phase in our life is usually marked by the activation of a different personality type from within.

Identifying The 7 Female Personalities

Mummy’s Girl: She is pretty and feminine; is playful and has a girlish way about her and quite often a baby voice, no matter at what age. She may throw tantrums, tends to play the role of the spoiled brat or show off in a childish manner. She is easy to influence, lacks strong opinions of her own and loves to please: a delicate creature who brings out the strong protective instincts in both her stronger sisters and males alike. She has a deep-seated mother attachment that is often replaced by her husband.

Daddy’s Girl: Her intelligence is immediately obvious. She will usually be dressed in the classical style; the epitome of the successful businesswoman or the efficient secretary in her t

The Mother: This delightful creature mothers everyone, and in her maternal efforts she is generous, loyal and reliable to all her friends. She can show surprising spunk in protecting those weaker than herself (in the way the mother fox protects her young), and is first on the scene when nurturing is required.

The Sister: We all know the independent feminist who fights for her principles and those of her less-strong sisters. She may have a slightly tomboyish air, have short hair and wear very little make-up – or, if glamorous, she will still have that fresh, healthy, girl-next-door quality. Full of life, she is daring, challenging and great fun. She is clever and capable of reaching the top of whatever path she cares to follow.

Favourite Aunt: Although she is introverted and prefers her solitude, everyone is drawn to her warmth and inner strength. As a child I loved visiting my neighbour, a typical Favourite Aunt. Her house was so pretty; there were homemade biscuits for afternoon tea, beautiful flowers in the garden, and she would set aside whatever she was doing to devote her time totally to my visit. She is most often an idealist, not ambitious, and may be recognised by her off-beat attire. She lacks emotion but is highly responsive.

The Flirt: This woman does not have to be beautiful (although quite often she is) to attract the best-looking man in the room. She has a sensual magnetism that can mesmerise the most introverted man; defuse the highly tempestuous fellow and bewitch the outrageous playboy. She seems positively to sparkle in the company of men, but charms women just as effortlessly. The world is her stage on which she plays the leading role. She is gifted with an artistic flair and in a career which allows her creative talents a free rein – is highly successful.

The Wife: Flourishes with a man on her arm; she believes that she is nothing without a man. She chooses well; he has to be worthy of her adoration. She is totally devoted to her man, to the exclusion of her friends and children. From an early age she planned her wedding, dedicating her life to her career of marriage. Her pleasures are vicarious.

Extract from Dial A Personality by Rosalind Neville of ENTRE NOUS (Introduction Service). Other books by the same author: Dial A Woman and Dial A Man.

To find out your personality type: click hereBooks by Rosalind Baker (nee Neville) Dial A Woman, Dial A Man & Dial A Personality: See our books

Rosalind Baker

Author Bio

Rosalind Baker’s professional commitment to ‘match making’ is well into its second decade, although she has always possessed that innate ability to pair people off. She even introduced her ex-husband to his next wife!
Having established Entre Nous: Relationship Consultants & Educators in 1991 she has now lost count of the number of relationships the organisation has helped to establish.
While there have been many ‘fly-by-night’ introduction agencies over the past two decades in Melbourne, Entre Nous has stood the test of time. This is due, in no small part, to the professionalism and passion of Rosalind Baker.
She has written three best sellers. The first, ‘Dial A Woman’ offers advice to Australian men on how to choose the right partner and then maintain a successful relationship.
The obvious sequel, ‘Dial A Man’ advised women on how to recognise and attract the man of their dreams. While writing her third book, ‘Dial a Personality’, she realised she had discovered the successful formula for matching couples.
As a journalist Rosalind has written extensively on social affairs and women’s issues and is a well-known social commentator on courtship.
Rosalind has been the delegate representing Australian and New Zealand at the International Institute of Introduction Services.
She is a keen follower of the Arts and supports Opportunity International.
She had four children and with her new husband, Tom Baker, they now have 11 grandchildren between them.

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It’s the classic story of the Odd Couple: she’s the life of the party, while he gives any excuse to leave early. He’s orderly and fastidious, while she leaves milk on the counter and clothes on the floor. He’s logical, she’s emotional; he’s from Mars, she’s from Venus. Much is made of the idea that opposites attract, and we all know at least one of these “odd couples” that makes a relationship work despite major differences. But is it true that opposites attract? And more importantly, what makes for the most successful relationship-a stimulating opposite or a comforting soulmate?

Many researchers have set out to answer this question. In order to classify their subjects’ differences, compatibility researchers often use Myers-Briggs personality typing. The Myers Briggs Type Indicator is the most common personality inventory in the world, and provides an easy-to-understand basis for studies on compatibility. The Myers-Briggs theory asserts that our fundamental differences in thinking, making decisions, and organizing our lives can be understood by measuring our preferences in four key areas:

• Extraversion/Introversion: This scale refers to where you focus attention and get your energy. Extraverts are focused on the external world and other people, and are energized by external stimulation and interaction with others. Introverts are more focused on their internal world, thoughts, ideas, and feelings, and get energy from spending time in solitary activity or quiet reflection.

• Se

• Thinking/Feeling: This scale refers to how you prefer to make decisions. Thinkers prefer decisions that are based on facts or data, and like to reason things out logically. Feelers prefer decisions that are consistent with their values and help to build harmonious relationships.

• Judging/Perceiving: This scale refers to how you prefer to organize your life. Judgers tend to prefer structure, schedules, and plans. They like clear expectations and feel accomplishment from completing tasks. Perceivers prefer an open-ended, spontaneous and flexible existence. They enjoy feeling that their options are open and that there are many possibilities available.

When researchers have analyzed couples’ satisfaction, the factors most associated with happy couples were those that we’ve heard all along: good communication, common values and interests, and the ability to work out disagreements calmly and openly. But when researchers Barbara Barron-Tieger and Paul Tieger studied the Myers-Briggs personality type of several hundred couples, they found that the more type preferences a couple had in common, the more satisfied they were with their communication. While opposites may attract, it seems to be easier to maintain a relationship with someone who is similar to yourself.

However, this does not mean that you must find your exact type in order to build a good relationship. In fact, the most common pairing is between two people with just two type preferences in common (for instance, ISTP with ESTJ). Researchers have also found that some type preferences are more important than others when determining compatibility, and that some types are especially likely to clash.

In a 1981 study, researcher Ruth Sherman found that differences on the Extraversion/Introversion scale caused the most conflict in long-term relationships. In particular, combinations of Extraverted women with Introverted men caused frustration, perhaps because this dynamic goes against our traditional concept of the man being the more expressive and dominant partner. However, this effect was found in a study that is over 20 years old. As we become more progressive in our relationships and more open to equality, differences in this preference area may become less important.

The Sensing/Intuition scale seems to play a key role in attraction. Studies by Isabel Briggs Myers and others have found that people tend to be drawn to partners who share their preference on this scale. When couples have a Sensing or Intuitive preference in common, they will tend to view the world in a fundamentally similar way. Couples with the same preference on this scale may find it easier to understand each other, and are more likely to feel they are speaking the same language.

While similarity on the Sensing/Intuition scale may determine attraction, long-term compatibility appears to be much more complicated. The last three scales-S/N, T/F, and J/P-play a complex role in determining compatibility. These scales have a fundamental effect on the way we communicate and prioritize our lives, and so have the potential to cause misunderstandings, miscommunication, and opposing goals in relationships where preference differences exist.

When researchers Tieger and Barron-Tieger examined couples on the S/N, T/F, and J/P scales, they found that, in general, more similar couples experienced a higher rate of satisfaction with their partner. However, there were some combinations that worked well despite having fewer preferences in common, and some pairings of similar partners that weren’t quite so successful. Some examples:

• Sensing Judgers (ESTJ, ESFJ, ISTJ, ISFJ) have a satisfaction rate of 79% when paired with other Sensing Judgers. These types tend to be traditionalists who value and honor their commitments.

• Intuitive Feelers (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ) have a satisfaction rate of 73% when paired with each other. Intuitive Feelers tend to place a high value on relationships and are the most likely of all the types to devote themselves to healthy relationships and open communication.

• Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving types (INFP and ENFP) had a satisfaction rate of only 42% when they were paired with Sensing, Thinking, Judging types (ESTJ and ISTJ), although this was one of the more common pairings among the couples studied. The NFP partner is likely to feel that their partner is conservative and stifling, while the STJ partner may find their partner unpredictable and unreliable.

• When partners have a Feeling preference in common, this can compensate for differences in other areas, perhaps due to Feelers’ inclination to spend more time and energy on their relationships in general. Specifically, Sensing, Feeling Judgers (ESFJ and ISFJ) reported an 86% satisfaction rate when paired with Intuitive, Feeling Perceivers (ENFP and INFP). They had a 67% satisfaction rate when coupled with Intuitive, Feeling Judgers (ENFJ and INFJ).

• In some cases, having similar type preferences did not mean higher satisfaction. Sensing, Thinking and Perceiving types (ISTP and ESTP) had only a 33% satisfaction rate when paired with other STPs. The researchers theorized that this is due to their findings that ESTPs and ISTPs are the least concerned of all the types with the quality of their relationships.

• Similarly, Intuitive Thinking types (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ) have only a 59% satisfaction rate when paired with another Intuitive Thinker. These types tend to be among the most critical of their partners and may be harder to please in general.

Additional research, led by Nancy Marioles, PhD. at St. Mary’s University, provides important data on marriage patterns among the types.

• Some types are more likely to marry a person of their exact same type; this includes male INFPs, INFJs and INTPs and female ENFJs and INFJs.

• There are two combinations where opposites seem to attract: ESTJ men with INFP women, and ESTP men with INFJ women. However, this may be due in part to the fact that these two types of men are also the most likely to be married multiple times.

• Some types showed greater partner dissatisfaction in general. Women married to INTP men had the highest level of dissatisfaction, at 31%. INTP is one of the least common types in the population, and INTPs may find it especially important to find a like-minded partner.

We can see that overall, couples find more satisfaction when paired with a similar partner. However, researchers stress that in all of their findings, communication, common interests, and the quality of the couple’s friendship were the most crucial factors in determining relationship success. While it may be easier to achieve these goals with a partner who is similar to you, it is absolutely possible even when significant differences exist. When couples make an effort to understand and appreciate their differences, they can turn what might be a problem or source of conflict into an asset for their partnership.

Couples with personality differences who find ways to support and understand each other often find their relationships especially rewarding. Partners with type differences are able to stimulate and challenge each other, and will learn from each other in a way that similar partners cannot. They can also make more effective teams because they are able to notice and compensate for each other’s blind spots. Recognizing how your partner is thinking and appreciating the value of his or her perspective, whether or not it agrees with yours, is crucial to a successful relationship.

While compatibility research can be interesting and informative, it is important to remember that every relationship is individual, and every couple can learn better communication skills. When it comes to relationship satisfaction, the big three factors-communication, trust, and respect-can be achieved by any type combination.

Molly Owens

Author Bio

Molly Owens holds a B.A in Psychology and has completed graduate work in counseling. She founded PersonalityDesk to provide Myers Briggs personality tests and career tests online. Learn how to take the Myers Briggs Type Indicator test online at PersonalityDesk.com.

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The leader is the broker of a message. The manager is a broker of information. And yet, managers can be leaders. It all depends on the significance of the message and what they do with it. Adept managers can take an old message and re-tool it and then leverage it into greater influence.

That is what leaders do. They influence others. It may be formal influeence in their employment. It may be entrepreneurial as it is with the small business owner or network marketer.

It may be personal such as occurs in volunteer work in charities and churches. Whatever the venue, the line between managing and leadership is discerned by looking at the message and how effectively it is brokered.

Let’s say you are the leader next door. Is your message information or vision? Is it cold facts or does it have passion and life? How much do you believe in the message and identify with it?

For a leader to have significance the message must have significance. Significant to the audience (the follower), notjust the leader!

What do you need to know about the audience?

I always recommend doing a written audience analysis. Do it as simply as possible without putting its effectiveness in jeopardy. If you are familiar with the audience, it may be as simple as setting down with a paper, breaking down the audience into segments, and listing characteristics of each segment. Then find connecting points between the segments and the message.

Audience segmentation can be based upon a combination cultural characteristics, gender characteristics,

What does psychology have to do with it?

You should probably consider the psychological aspect of audience analysis. The personality types of the audience. Since the times of the ancient Greeks, four distinct personality types have been recognized.

Most people are a combination of more than one type and may exhibit characteristics of other types. Many adapt their personality type because of self-awareness, education, training, life experiences, or influences of social situations or stressors.

You will often be more effective as a leader when you design you message to include connecting points for all four personality types.

How do you target messaging for each personality type?

The first thing is to understand the type. Many systems have been developed to explain them. Some systems use colors, some use a form called DISC. Another system uses four different animals to represent each type.

Although initially introduced to another system, I prefer the Greek designations because of the quality of the literature that has been written using them. I think it is worth the effort to learn them.

How do you communicate with cholerics?

In alphabetical order, the first type is the Choleric personality. This type of personality is extroverted, tends to see the big picture, and has no trouble taking charge. Cholerics tend get upset when people do not do what they want.

Cholerics tend to make quick decisions and delegate work. They are more goal-oriented than they are people sensitive. Timid people sometimes see choleric personalities as rude or overbearing. Cholerics lead through taking charge.

To convince cholerics you have to gain their respect. If they view you as uncertain or unprepared you lose. They like winners.

If you want to convince cholerics to attend a function, tell them all the leaders will be there. Let them know how what you offer will make them a better leader. Cholerics lead through the force of their personalities.

How do you communicate with melancholies?

Melancholy is the next type. Melancholies tend to be introverted and see the details. Melancholy personalities like rules to follow. The like to know that they have done things right. They get upset with rule-benders.

Melancholies make decisions based upon facts and rules. They are always hungry for more information and it is sometimes are paralyzed by their analysis. They are sometimes seen by other people as nit-picky. They lead through detailed policies and procedures.

To convince melancholies you need to have details. They want to see all of the points on the PowerPoint and have them explained. You may want to provide supplemental material with lots of details to them.

If you want to convince melancholies to attend a function, tell them that they will get all the information they want.

How do you communicate with phlegmatics?

Phlegmatics are highly relational. They like lots of time to make decisions and don’t like to be rushed. They are not as rules driven as Melancholies, but like to weigh the relational impact of decisions. They look out for others and are willing to sacrifice their own interests to help others.

Because they tend to be non-confrontational they may not verbalize their feelings, but they often resent those who run roughshod over them or hurt others.

They will often go along with a strong personality, but when they reach their limit they often break away completely to avoid on-going conflict.Sometimes there is no reconciliation.

To convince a phlegmatic you have to show them how things are in the best interest of the group. You often need a format where they are asked their opinion. You may need to communicate in a way that levels the playing field and keeps them from being dominated. They lead by forming alliances.

How do you communicate with sanguines?

Sanguines want to have fun. They are people sensitive but use that sensitivity to manipulate to place themselves as the center of attention. Sanguines are often so concerned about having fun that they are disorganized.

Sanguines relate well with people. They are often seen as winsome and charming. They are usually uninhibited in social settings and get over their own mistakes and those of others very quickly. After all, it ruins the fun to hold grudges.

If you want a sanguine personality to attend an event, tell them how much fun it will be or give them a position up front where they will be noticed. A sanguine would probably make a great master or mistress of ceremony for an event. Sanguines lead by being using their ability to be winsome.

In conclusion.

Personality type is a pre-disposition. Everyone has to learn to compensate for the weaknesses of their preferred mode. In communicating, it is important to know your own personality so that you balance your preferences with the needs of those in the audience who may be a different personality type.

It is a good idea to look at your communication i.e. your personal or, business communication, or network marketing training and ask, “What is in it for each of the different personalities?” When combined with a segmented audience analysis, it will help you create powerful communication strategies.

Rick Hubbard

Author Bio

Rick Hubbard – B.A. in Communication and Organizational Leadership and an M.A. in Instructional Systems/e-Learning He is a instructional technologist at a Florida university and does consulting in communication and instructional design. A Leadership Revolution

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