Looking at the definitions of anger and negativity, one sees nothing but negative words: annoyed, irritated, resentful, infuriated, incensed, enraged, aggravated, irritated, annoyed, disappointed, dissatisfied, hindered, blocked, foiled, defeated exasperated, etc. So, then the question becomes how can something so negative and so off-putting become a good friend?
Well let me tell you a little story about that. There once was a girl who wanted to go to college. She met up with a teacher in high school who said, “You’ll never be able to go to college. You should just be a waitress.” She went to college, and met up with a professor who told her” You will not get in to graduate school. You should just get a job as a waitress while you figure out what you want to do with your life.” She went to graduate school and met up with a professor who said “You don’t belong here. You should just drop out of school. Maybe you should waitress for a while.”
Guess what? That girl graduated in the top 10 of her high school class. She went on to graduate from a 4 year college, and graduated with honors from grad school. She is making a six figure income, and by all means is a great success. How did she do that? She used anger and frustration as a motivator.
Anger energizes all of us. It is what we choose to do with the anger that separates us. Many of us ruminate about the shortcomings, the annoyances, and resentments that we feel when we are upset with someone else. We hold on to the anger, and the negative thinking that we experience gets worse. We sit and stew in our own rage. We think about getting even, and maybe even develop a plan and act on it. We develop an “I’ll show you” attitude filled with anger and hate. Absolutely nothing positive can come from this mindset.
This girl could have accepted the negativity of the teachers, ruminated about it and focused on how they were right, “I will be a failure so why even try.” Instead she chose to use the anger that she felt in a positive way. She set out to prove that she could achieve and that those who judged her did so poorly. Each time she encountered someone who questioned her abilities she said quietly to herself: “Who says?” “Who are you to judge me?” “I know what I am capable of.” “I can be a success. I will show you!”
How was she able to do this? She was passionate about what she wanted out of life. She knew what she wanted and she knew that if she worked hard enough that she could get it. She did not let the negative thinking of others overshadow her life with dark clouds. She worked from a mindset that allowed her to use the energy that anger and frustration elicit and use it in a positive manner- towards a goal that she deeply held on to.
The next time you are feeling frustrated about something, instead of reaching for the fridge, pulling on that poor me attitude and hiding under the covers, take a moment and really think about what the cause of that frustration and anger is. Usually frustration as caused by something or someone blocking something that we want.
Ask yourself the following questions:
What is this anger and frustration really about? Is there a way around it? What is your mindset?
You have the power and control in your own hands to change the way you think and act. No one else owns that but you. Like the woman in the story above, learn to use the energy derived from anger as an energizer- not a negative energizer- but a positive one.
Lori Bell is founder of Creating Powerful Change, LLC and creator of http://www.help-me-change.com which offers tips, tools, and techniques for implementing successful change in to your life. As your Personal Change Agent, Lori will provide you with an easy to follow step by step process that allows you to tap into your hidden potential, to grow personally and professionally, and to create a life that finally feels right and works great for you! To receive other free articles and the no cost product- "Are You Ready for Success?" visit http://www.help-me-change.com now.
